Don’t bring the past to the present
I can’t be a good parent because my parents were full of crab
I can’t have a successful marriage because my parents were divorced
I can’t be a successful person because because my parents were not successful etc.
Let me start by telling you that you are not your parents period.
Why do you keep defining yourself based on your parents?
You are not you parents and that’s what you have to get through your skull.
Just because your dad was a drug addict does mean that you will or you should be a drug addict, that was your dad and not you.
People keep complaining and saying that they can’t be married because their marriage will certainly fail because their parents didn’t have a successful marriage.
Who told you that just because your parents didn’t have a successful marriage life then you will not have a successful marriage. If you put this in your head then know that your marriage will not last, not because of your parents but because of you.
Do you know why?
When you tell yourself that your marriage will not be successful, you always think about it and finally your brain will believe and when this happens, even if your marriage have a little problem you will feel lazy to find solutions, you will not try hard to find solutions, if you have a problem instead of going for marriage counseling you will just keep saying ‘I knew it, I knew my marriage wasn’t going to be successful because my parents marriage was also not successful’ and even if you eventually go for the counseling you will not give it your all because deep down you believe that it will not work because your parents’ didn’t work.
From now onwards never ever say that your marriage will not work just because your parents marriage didn’t.
Another thing I hate hearing is when people say that they wouldn’t be successful in life just because their parents are not successful.
What do you mean by that? Go check out the millionaires and billionaires of the world, most of them had unsuccessful parents but they did it, today they are successful, they made the effort, they spent sleepless night, they did all that they could do, they did it because of discipline, motivation, commitment and many more but importantly most importantly they believed in themselves and knew that they will be successful, it doesn’t matter whether their parents are successful or not. I want you guys to have the same mentality.
Do you know what happens when you say that you will not be successful because your parents are not successful? What happens is laziness, you give up, you lose hope and at the end of the day you feel miserable.
When you have this kind of mindset even if you see an opportunity that other people will die to have, you will sit down because you believe that you will die unsuccessful.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS.
I want you to start saying ‘ i will be successful’, keep saying it, say it everyday until you believe it and the moment you believe it then wonders will happen. This is because now if you see an opportunity you will take it because you believe that you are going to be successful and to be successful you must put in the work.
Just because your parents didn’t treat you right doesn’t mean that you are not gonna treat your child right.
Just because your parents didn’t show you love doesn’t mean that you are not gonna show love to your children.
Just because your parents hurt you intentionally doesn’t mean that you are gonna hurt your child intentionally.
I will say it again. You are not your parents.
Despite everything your parents did to you, despite how much they hurt you, you can still be a good parent to your child, you can still be the best person in your child’s life.
Your parents don’t define you.
What your parents say about you, what they think about you, what they do to you or what they did to you doesn’t define you at all.
You are your own person so don’t let anyone define you.
Why are you spending so much time on the past?
Why are you still thinking about what happened years ago?
Why are you feeding your mind with negative thoughts?
Concentrate on your present and try to make your future better
Concentrate on your growth and stop thinking about what your parents did and what they didn’t do.
Remember: Don’t let anyone define you, not even your parents. You have to define yourself.